(Source: diablodancer, via hotforblainers)
I just got out of the shower and my ribs are all bruised (no, really, it looks like someone painted a purple carnation on my ribcage) and it hurts like a bitch and I don’t know what I did and ow. D:
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Coworker:
Every time I stand near you I want to lick you.
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Me:
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Coworker:
Please don't take that wrong.
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Me:
*sidelong glance*
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Coworker:
It's because you smell really good, okay!? It's that fucking lotion you wear!
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Me:
You really aren't helping yourself, here.
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Coworker:
You smell like a bakery, alright!? And just--
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Me:
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Coworker:
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Me:
You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me...
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Coworker:
Oh god.
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Me:
/singsong You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to hug me... You want to smooch me... You want to...
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Coworker:
I hate you so much right now.
dear darren, (Source: stripedtie, via dapperdeduction)
